Sam and Saba on Sports: Final Four Edition

Sam Dykstra and Saba Hamedy. Photo Illustration Credit Sumner Lambert

SABA: March Madness means the best college basketball teams duke it out to ultimately reach the “Final Four.” Here at The FreeP, we celebrate March Madness, but Sam and I also have our own final fours to predict.

First, we determined the Boston University colleges that would make it to the top.

  1. College of Communication
  2. College of Arts and Sciences
  3. College of Engineering
  4. School of Management

So…

  • COM (yeah, we’re biased) has the most informed students.
  • CAS has the people advantage – not only are there a LOT of them but they are multi-skilled (all majors from Political Science to Mathematics). So many majors…so many people…
  • ENG could probably take over the world if they wanted to
  • SMG – the suits say it all. They could get people to financially back their win by paying off other people

In my opinion, ENG would win. They are quiet but brilliant, like secret agents.

My formula for this win: Genius (ENG) > Money (SMG) > People (CAS)  > Information (COM).

SAM:

CAS IS PEOPLE!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sp-VFBbjpE

But in all seriousness, I want to, of course, give COM the advantage but simply can’t in my right mind because brackets are all about math and all of the three other schools can actually do math.

CAS is too general to crack into the championship (Arts AND Sciences, I mean c’mon).

So I’ve got ENG vs. SMG in the final, and as smart and crafty as the Engineers are, give me the SMG Moneybags. Money wins championships. Look at the Yankees. (Wait, can I say that with the Red Sox’ expensive offseason acquisitions leading to our inevitable World Series title in October? Damn straight I can.) The Moneybags would smoothtalk their way to a crown or straight pay off anyone in their way.

Next up in our quartet of Final Fours, we’ve got the Houses from everyone’s magic school: Durmstrang Institute. No wait, make that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In ranking order, we’ve got Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw.

Saba, you know more about the wizarding world than I do so you get this one going.

SABA: Though the wizarding world is complex (more than most Muggles can understand), it’s pretty easy.

Slytherin = bad guys  (sorry Salazar, we aren’t all snake-loving, Mudblood trashing meanies)

Gryffindor = courageous! Risk takers! FTW: Harry Potter

Hufflepuff = Too much love, not enough TOUGH love

Ravenclaw = Pretentious but smart

So clearly, Gryffindor wins. As usual. Sam, you’re a Hufflepuff (clearly) so make your case.

SAM:

I want to say the Puff SO BAD!!! It’s all about hard work and being fair. You know, some of the greatest qualities known to man.

But you’ve got to put Gryffindor and Slytherin in the final two because that good vs. evil matchup fits really nicely.

In this championship, each school throws forth its most powerful alum. So that gives us Lord Voldemort vs. Harry Potter. We know how that goes. If you don’t, go back to 2007 and figure it out. Hurts not to go with an upset there, but that battle’s already happened in the real world so I’m kind of handcuffed there.

Third bracket. Everyone’s favorite early-morning or late-night beverage: coffee.

SABA:

We realize there are thousands of coffee shops across the nation. Sorry hipsters but we’re going mainstream with our comparisons because we don’t even know where to begin with independents.

For us BU kids, there’s CITY CO.  For New Englanders, there’s Dunkin’ Donuts. For Bostonians, there’s the local Espresso Royale. For the world, there’s Starbucks.

In Los Angeles, I prefer the independent coffee shops since I have a car and I am a local.

In airports, OR when I am studying at the GSU (yay dining points!), I prefer Starbucks.

So I guess it comes down to Dunkin’ Donuts vs. City Co and I choose….CITY CO!

Dunkin’ coffee makes me too hyper too fast (I say this as I am drinking my cup of Dunkin’ coffee with cream and sugar).

City Co is perfect because I can pick and choose to my liking. For example, I can choose between Hazelnut Cream and good ol’ regular.

Not to mention buy nine cups, get the 10th one free! Sam?

SAM:

CityCo doesn’t even make the championship for me. Sure, you get choice, but it’s a choice between crap and more crap. Sorry Sabs.

That leaves us with Starbucks vs. Dunkin Donuts. (Places like Espresso Royale try too hard for my liking. I’m a simple man after all.) I’m just such a big fan of Dunkin that I’m going to give it the nod here. Its coffee comes naturally a little sweeter than Starbucks, and that’s the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it. Plus, Starbucks is more expensive so that’s a negative. NEW ENGLAND REPRESENT!

Speaking of which, we’ll finish this week’s segment with the best states. And now for the completely biased account of one Californian:

SABA:

Someone is still bitter about the Lakers defeating the Celtics…

Anyway, yes I will argue that California is better than the others in the big four of states: Massachusetts, New York and Hawaii.

Why?

  1. California has SUN. Nice weather. Yay fun in the sun.
  2. Because of reason one, the people are happier and friendlier. No Massholes, no obnoxious New Yorkers who walk and talk too quickly and too loudly, no SNOW to plow, no seasonal depression, no below zero temperatures, no wind chills, no icicles to kill people, etc.
  3. It’s HUGE. Sure, there are dead cities (like in all other states) but almost everywhere you go has something nice about it. So if you want to argue “Eff Los Angeles” go ahead, I’ll throw San Francisco your way.
  4. It is home to so many great things – great sports teams, great people, great historic sites, great beaches, great food, great art. Home of the gold rush, immigrants from South of the Border (WHO WE WELCOME), the gay rights movement, John Steinbeck, old Hollywood (>current Hollywood), Venice boardwalk, movie locations and so much more.

Hawaii is a close second though. And THEN Mass, but that’s only for Boston. <3

SAM:

Hawaii’s beautiful and all, but because it’s so far away, everything’s wicked expensive, expensive enough to get it out of our championship round. New York has NYC (the greatest city in the world) and the Niagra Falls but also has Syracuse, Buffalo, Albany, the Yankees, the Mets, the Knicks, etc. soooooooo yeah

I guess that brings us back to California vs. Massachusetts (with apologies to maybe Texas, Florida, Virginia, Maryland but certainly not North Dakota, Indiana or Utah).

1. You want your boring weather all year. TAKE IT. Give me the fall foliage, snowball fights in the winter and the spring explosion of green and color. That makes us appreciate our summers that much more.

2. Celtics 17 championships > Lakers 16 championships > Clippers and Warriors 0 championships. Red Sox 7 championships > Dodgers 4 championships in CA = A’s 4 championships in CA > Giants 1 championship in CA = Angels 1 championship > Padres 1 championship. Bruins 5 championships > 1 Ducks championship > 0 Sharks championships = 0 Kings championships. I’ll concede the NFL because of the damn 49ers.

Our state produces more championships per team (even though we only have one in each) than yours does. It’s not even a competition. Hell in baseball, we only have four fewer titles despite having five fewer teams.

3. Cape Cod is a pure slice of heaven, and that is not debatable.

4. History, man. America was practically invented here. Plymouth. Lexington and Concord. The original Tea Party. Revere’s midnight ride. Bunker Hill. John Hancock. Samuel Adams. Homes of both Adamses and JFK (we’ll forget about Coolidge). Compare that to Nixon and Reagan. Plus, California’s whopping 0 signers of the Declaration of Independence and Constitution.

That means there wouldn’t have even been a California, as an American state mind you, in the first place had Massachusetts not led the way to freedom and independence.

BOOYAH!

SABA:

All your arguments are valid but they STILL don’t make Massachusetts better than California.

Again, weather-wise, sure foliage is pretty but Mass. Winters are SO brutal that they will forever bring New England down.

Cape Cod is gorgeous but Cape Cod looks like any beach in California, such as MALIBU.

As a history buff I can appreciate Massachusetts BUT again, CA has some great history of its own. Ever see the movie MILK? Or Walk Out? History was still made, just later.

Finally, as Josh Cain pointed out UCLA and USC have combined 241 national championships so BOOYAH right back at you.

Yeah, I just countered all your counter-arguments.

WABAM.

The end of this final four match-up.

- Sam Dykstra and Saba Hamedy, DFP Staff

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