By Megan Riesz, Muse contributor
My obsession with “Game of Thrones” is borderline psychopathic, to the point that I changed my middle name on Facebook to Cersei Lannister. (Disclaimer: I do not condone incest, nor did I birth an evil blonde sovereign child. Yet.) So when the extended trailer for Season Two premiered Sunday night on HBO – meaning I watched it on YouTube three minutes later because I don’t think Allston supports HBO – I let out a guttural throat noise resembling Regan MacNeil. I’ll admit it, I’m possessed by this fantasy world of sex, swordplay and Starks that only premium television can create. And Season Two looks like it’s going to be off the wall.
SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ AHEAD IF YOU PLAN ON WATCHING THE FIRST SEASON BECAUSE I’M ABOUT TO RUIN EVERYTHING FOR YOU. I’m also speaking as someone who hasn’t read the books, so there’s that.
Anyway, so without Nearly Headless Ned (too soon?) we need a strong male character who reeks of honor, principle and other medieval traits. On the other hand, that’s boring, so the directors are giving us – drumroll – Tyrion Lannister! Played by the effortlessly charming Peter Dinklage, Tyrion has been one of my favorite characters since he slapped the hell out of Joffrey. Tyrion might be a Lannister, but you wouldn’t damn Severus Snape just because he was a Slytherin, would you? (Too many Harry Potter references…or too little?) “A very small man can cast a very large shadow,” Varys narrates in the trailer as the camera pans over Tyrion’s smirking face. Yup, it’s pretty clear that next season, our little Lannister will have a significant role to play. I’d say he’s George R. R. Martin’s favorite child and assume he’ll stay alive this season, but as we all know, Martin’s not afraid to kill anybody off.
Varys’ bit of poetic foreshadowing highlights a conflict between a priest, a king and a rich man, but from what I can tell, it’ll be a conflict between a king (Joffrey), a rich man (Tywin Lannister), a dragon queen (Daenerys Targaryen), a vengeful son (Ned Stark), a she-devil (Cersei Lannister), and probably hundreds of characters we haven’t met yet. Oh, and the game of thrones won’t really matter once the White Walkers show up, which I’m not even convinced is going to happen in the next millennium. But in the meantime, it’ll be interesting to see Daernerys wreck havoc and shake up the Stark-Lannister conflict, which could grow old if uninterrupted. I just hope the series doesn’t become too convoluted with the accelerating number of power-hungry idiots.
All I can really hope for is that “Game of Thrones” doesn’t lose steam like “The Tudors” did after Anne Boleyn’s death. I don’t think Ned Stark is the Anne Boleyn of King’s Landing, but only time will tell. If all else fails, I’ll stick around for the sex scenes and Joffrey’s slow, slow death (if it’s fast and painless, I’m quitting television). I’m also rooting for Cersei to break up with her, um, sibling. But I recognize the crazy blonde in her, and I don’t know if she can change. We’re a different breed.