FreepOUT: Novembeards in the office

By Lauren Dezenski, Online Editor

Girls run the world at the FreeP this semester (to steal the phrase from Beyoncé). With an e-board made up of all ladies except for  Kevin the sports editor, No Shave November doesn’t quite meet its original meaning. But thank goodness for the associates: Tyler, Chris and Jasper (plus assistant Greg) are all in some state of facial hairiness.

Thus, I’m honored to present the Novembeards of the FreeP.

Exhibit A:

Kevin Dillon, sports editor and our reigning Novembeard champion. Well, that doesn’t actually exist because I just made it up, but Kevin *IS* sporting the sickest beard at 648 Beacon St.

When asked to describe his beard, Kevin said, “It got real itchy, so I have had to shave the neck part of the beard.”

Neck beard grows in three times as fast as the regular beard, Kevin said, and had he not taken preventative measures, he would “look like Gandalf with a neard.” Neard is a portmanteau of “neck” and “beard.” That Kevin, always combining words.

Exhibit B:

Chris Lisinski, current campus associate and next semester’s campus editor. This weekend was the interview process for postion selection (congrats to all chosen), and because of this, Chris was forced to shave off his beginnings of a Novembeard. As of Monday night, Chris is steadfast in his pursuit of the truest Novembeard, despite this weekend’s razor action.

I’m thinking that shaving process looked a little something like this:

Fear not, Chris. Beards grow back.

Exhibit C:

Resident cherub and City Associate Jasper Craven. Baby boi is next semester’s city editor and with his clean shaven face, boasts the face of a baby angel.

I see you with those Beats headphones, Jaspy.

Don’t be fooled by his cherubic visage ladies and gents. During last week’s snowstorm, Jasper was riding his bike to cover an event for the FreeP, fell and scraped up his knee, thus BLEEDING FOR THE FREEP. That’s dedication if I know any.

Exhibit D and E:

Tyler Lay and Gregory Davis. Tyler is next semester’s managing editor and has no care for maintaining his Novembeard. What a party pooper. However Greg, next semester’s sports editor, is keeping the enthusiasm alive and is a true gem.

Let us heed the words of Kanye West in light of these Novembeards: “No one man should have all that power.”

Stay tuned for updates on the beards’ progress as November elapses.

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