By Brandon Lewis, Staff Writer
People say that when you have children, you change forever. Well, when it comes to hipsters having children, they pretty much stay the same.
According to an article in the New York Times, young New York parents have been catching on to ‘elimination control,’ which apparently means allowing their babies to roam society without diapers. Hipsters are granting their offspring the right to use the bathroom wherever their little hearts desire. It could be the supermarket parking lot, behind the bushes at the local park, or the kitchen sink.
Yes, the kitchen sink where you watch dishes and prepare food.
Many parents say this new tactic is a way to avoid the constant washing and reuse of diapers. So we’re training pets to use the bathroom on newspapers but teaching babies that it’s all right to pop a squat in the middle of the playground.
Elimination control is described in an article on CBC News’ website as enabling parents to recognize when their children have to use the bathroom. When babies are on the verge of eliminating their wastes, they most likely give off a warning such as a grimace or noise. Then parents associate the babies’ warnings with their needs. This connection between parent and baby represents the elimination communication.
Ten years from now when I become a father, my children will be raised with diapers on their bottoms. I just can’t imagine myself running to get a bucket to place under my child when he needs to use the bathroom. Even though a significant chunk of my income will be devoted to buying diapers, they’re just more convenient in my opinion. They provide a soft cushion for babies and let them use the bathroom without having to ‘inform’ their parents.
The only benefit I detect from elimination communication is that babies tend to be potty trained faster than kids that wear diapers. This may entice some parents but not me. Throwing away a diaper is easier than cleaning feces and pee out of a bowl, don’t you think? I’m sure that some people will think that elimination communication is the best thing in the world. But for me, my children will not step foot out of the house without a diaper. Sorry, not sorry.