By Hilary Ribons, Staff Writer
It’s that time of year again. The month before Christmas when the faces of millions of normal American men become engulfed in mountain-men level facial hair.
No Shave November—The chagrin of women (and some men) everywhere.
I hate to break it to you, but copious facial hair: not sexy. Not even a little bit. Please, do us a favor, and shave your face on a regular basis unless your beard is sexy. It’s hard to nail, and few are.
It’s a long withstanding social movement that coincides with the infamous month. Movember, a word combining mustache and November, is a movement that takes advantage of No Shave November by making it into a way to raise money and awareness for prostate cancer.
“… these selfless and generous men, known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery,” according to the charity’s website, Movember and Sons. “Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo-growing efforts.”
For No Shave November, you can’t shave at all. For Movember, however, a mustache is required. Therefore, your sideburns can’t touch your mustache, and your chin hair can’t touch it either because that would make it a goatee. This is difficult for most gentlemen.
Of course, hipsters everywhere have extended No Shave November to a year round event, pruning and shaping their mustaches or beards to levels not seen since the 19th century. Maybe they’re protesting the manufacturing procedures of razor producers. Maybe they’re protesting the mainstream clean-shaven look. But most likely, they are just trying to be ironic. We will never know.
But since it seems we can’t stop the onslaught of unshaven men, maybe we can at least attribute a cause to it. So if you are a guy (or a girl, no prejudice) participating in this phenomenon, at least try to raise money for an actual cause. At least Movember has some ground rules.
Enjoy an extreme case of beard, unfolding here:
By Lauren Dezenski, Online Editor
Girls run the world at the FreeP this semester (to steal the phrase from Beyoncé). With an e-board made up of all ladies except for Kevin the sports editor, No Shave November doesn’t quite meet its original meaning. But thank goodness for the associates: Tyler, Chris and Jasper (plus assistant Greg) are all in some state of facial hairiness.
Thus, I’m honored to present the Novembeards of the FreeP.
Kevin Dillon, sports editor and our reigning Novembeard champion. Well, that doesn’t actually exist because I just made it up, but Kevin *IS* sporting the sickest beard at 648 Beacon St.
When asked to describe his beard, Kevin said, “It got real itchy, so I have had to shave the neck part of the beard.”
Neck beard grows in three times as fast as the regular beard, Kevin said, and had he not taken preventative measures, he would “look like Gandalf with a neard.” Neard is a portmanteau of “neck” and “beard.” That Kevin, always combining words.
Chris Lisinski, current campus associate and next semester’s campus editor. This weekend was the interview process for postion selection (congrats to all chosen), and because of this, Chris was forced to shave off his beginnings of a Novembeard. As of Monday night, Chris is steadfast in his pursuit of the truest Novembeard, despite this weekend’s razor action.
I’m thinking that shaving process looked a little something like this:
Fear not, Chris. Beards grow back.
Resident cherub and City Associate Jasper Craven. Baby boi is next semester’s city editor and with his clean shaven face, boasts the face of a baby angel.
I see you with those Beats headphones, Jaspy.
Don’t be fooled by his cherubic visage ladies and gents. During last week’s snowstorm, Jasper was riding his bike to cover an event for the FreeP, fell and scraped up his knee, thus BLEEDING FOR THE FREEP. That’s dedication if I know any.
Exhibit D and E:
Tyler Lay and Gregory Davis. Tyler is next semester’s managing editor and has no care for maintaining his Novembeard. What a party pooper. However Greg, next semester’s sports editor, is keeping the enthusiasm alive and is a true gem.
Let us heed the words of Kanye West in light of these Novembeards: “No one man should have all that power.”
Stay tuned for updates on the beards’ progress as November elapses.