Tips and tricks for surviving Parents’ Weekend

By Hilary Ribons, Staff Writer
@hilaryalexisr

Parents Weekend

Taken from awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Yay! It’s Parents’ Weekend! The one time out of the year when your parents are encouraged and pressured to come to school to make sure that you are surviving college so far. It’s also the weekend that your parents will hopefully be buying you all the things that your presumably meager student budget doesn’t cover.

So this means that you will spend the next few days making sure that your room is parent-appropriate, right? Here are some quick tips to parent-proofing that lovely dorm of yours.

1. Tell your roommate. The last thing your parents need to see is your roomie sitting around in his/her towel. The last thing your roommate needs is meeting your parents half naked. Do everyone a favor and make sure all parties involved are well-informed. You can avoid a lot of awkward situations this way.

2. Put away the alcohol and empty bottles. I don’t care what age you are. Explaining that handle of cheap vodka to Mom and Dad will never be fun.

Also, now would be the time to hide that bottle collection you have going on in your window. Maybe just stop pretending it’s decor and throw it out altogether, especially if you are underage.

And I hope you don’t have anything illegal in there, but if you do, please find something to do with it. Something that your parents won’t uncover when they decide to maybe do your laundry or clean for you.

3. Inform your friends. I promise you that if you don’t somehow bring it up to whomever hangs around your place aside from your roommate, you will have an exceedingly awkward run in. Explaining your parents’ inevitable idiosyncrasies would probably be a good idea so that when your mom greets your friend with a hug or a kiss on the cheek or even a seemingly strange remark, that person is prepared. If nothing else, a cursory, “Oh my parents are stopping by this weekend,” will suffice.

4. Take out your trash. Nobody wants to know what is in your college trash can… especially not your parents. Whoever coined  the phrase “airing your dirty laundry” to describe the exposing of secrets was wrong. The most revealing, repulsive and embarrassing artifacts people leave behind are in their trash.

5. Leave gram and gramps at home. College is just too jarring for grandparents. Meet them at dinner, or somewhere else, but save your floor and your grandparents a traumatic experience here and just keep them away from where you’re living.

6. Clean. This one is slightly related to number four. Clean your room. I know, it sucks, but just do it. You never know what is lurking in the corners of a dorm room that could be potentially awkward to explain.

The point of Parents’ Weekend is to convince or reaffirm your parents that you can live on your own. This means showing them that beyond being able to take care of yourself, you can at least give the illusion that you are a responsible young adult. Good luck to all and enjoy the visit!

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