Dat App: Amazon Drone Delivery

By Max Cohen, Staff Writer
@not_maxcohen

Just imagine one of these hovering around your house to deliver your textbooks./PHOTO VIA Wikimedia Commons

Plastered on every  Twitter feed in the country this week was Amazon’s announcement for creating a sophisticated network of autonomous flying drones which would be able to deliver packages based on GPS locations. Wow.

This sci-fi technology sounds intriguing, and I’m sure it was inspired by something ridiculous from a 60’s television show (as all technology nowadays). However, you should not want Amazon to continue with this project. In fact, Amazon’s drone delivery system could have “unforeseen consequences.”

People order from Amazon every day now, and with Amazon Prime — which provides free two day delivery — people are ordering things that they could easily walk to CVS and buy.

But with the possibility of same-day deliveries on products — half hour delivery on some — why would we ever leave the couch? Imagine ordering a pizza and a flat screen television and having those both arrive at the same time.

That freedom, while cool, is horrifying for any company that isn’t Amazon. Who would frequent the mall besides our nostalgia ridden elders? Who would buy groceries at the store? And who would ever actually go to Bed Bath & Beyond? Not that anyone goes to Bed Bath & Beyond now.

But the technology isn’t there yet. Amazon can only cater to customers within a 10 mile radius of their distribution centers, which are few and far between, and mostly in the mid-west. Currently, Amazon has only 60 of these distribution centers and drones can only carry packages up to five pounds.

In 10 years, it isn’t crazy to think that we could have shipping drones buzzing overhead constantly, with huge loads and strong engines.

Inevitably, this will happen:

Five men in rural Kentucky sit in lawn chairs on a hot day. They are shirtless with rifles on their laps. Their mullets flowing in the wind under their John Deere caps. Suddenly, they jump to their feet, like trained seals, and start shooting at the flying machine passing through the yard. They hit the drone in just the right place and its package falls. They pray that box isn’t filled with new china because they just got a new kitchen set last week.

Let’s be honest, that’s the kind of world we live in.

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