Fashion Padawan: Baby, It’s Cold Outside

By Danny McCarthy, Staff Writer
@dannyvonunicorn

These boots were made for walkin’…or for the extreme cold./PHOTO VIA Danny McCarthy

When it gets to late November and early December in Boston, you should know what to expect. I’m a lifelong New Yorker, but even I was unprepared — emotionally, physically, spiritually — for the North Pole crashing down Commonwealth Avenue a few weeks ago.

If you don’t remember a few Sundays ago, it was FREEZING. I went out for a total of 20 minutes with the intention of seeing a quidditch match, but apparently Harry Potter didn’t pack his thermal underwear because the tournament was over before I even got there.

And when I was waddling/cry-walking back to the warmth of Warren Towers, I realized that my winter garb was not up to snuff. And unless you’re super-prepared for the icy wrath of Tilda Swinton a la “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,” you’re not up to snuff either.

So, here are a few things we need to get prepared for winter:

1. Insulated shoes: Oh, what’s that? These two things attached to my ankles are not blocks of ice? They’re feet? Thanks, Converse, for not letting me know. As much as I love Converse — roughly to the moon and back — I can’t keep wearing them. It’s time to break out the boots. I have a pair of black leather biker boots (tongue-twister) that I almost never wear, but I think I’ll have to reintegrate them into my wardrobe. If you don’t have boots, I would suggest a meander over to Zappos for free shipping, or American Eagle for some Sherpa-lined boots.

2. Turtlenecks: The name sounds vaguely horrifying, but I can’t argue with the results. Even if I wanted to, I can’t because the International Turtleneck Association refuses to answer my letters. Turtlenecks are designed to keep you warm, and if you wear them in the right way (neck folded down aesthetically) then this personal fashion do-not can become a fashion do.

3. Real gloves: I’m so guilty of buying — cough, stealing from my mom, cough — cheap gloves that seem like a decent purchase in the beginning but then make me want to cry. And in this day and age of iPhones, it is imperative to have touch-screen gloves for walking and texting in the cold. I recommend buying from L.L.Bean or Timberland; they’re less stylish than Urban Outfitters or H&M, but they’ll get the job done. The job: keeping your fingers from falling off because of horrible frostbite.

Once I get back in the green — aren’t I so hip? — I think I’ll devote some of it to getting the aforementioned items. Because once we are all wrapped up toasty and warm, we can appreciate the Christmas spirit. And those Christmas sales.

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